Brewed by Doppelleu Brauwerkstatt Style: Premium Lager Winterthur, Switzerland
Chopfab Draft is a very popular beer brewed by Doppelleu in the small Swiss city of Winterthur, not far from Zurich.
Not too long on the market, the beer can be found all over Switzerland and from what I find from my Swiss friends here it is a beer that is quite popular and always recommended.
Review: 50cl can of Chopfab Draft: ABV: 4.7% vol
Love the all black distinctive can with clear white lettering, stands out. Have read in a Swiss tabloid, that some have complained that it is to similar to the ISIS flag! That and the fact that Chopfab means “Head off”, a reference to downing the beer more than anything else!
On pour get a very clear beer that has a light golden yellow colour, with a small sized head.
Not much carbonation resulting in a head that dies quickly, all goes very flat.
Not much of a looker. Got a lot in the can, perhaps due to fuck all carbonation.
Has a real lager smell, also very lemony, crisp and malty.
Nice smell actually, like it, lovely in fact. The yeast and lager smell is refreshing, nice.
On taste, I can feel the alcohol, and it is very sweet but in a nice way. Sweet malts, nice.
It is very drinkable, with a nice creamy back end, not strong to be horrible, light enough to enjoy.
Very easy to drink, very smooth, tasty, get a lot of nice light tastes, creamy, very malty, yeasty, a bit of fruit, all in all a good balance of clean and fresh tastes that go down easy and well.
Very good, smooth and refreshing. Liked it a lot, wonder if it can be got on tap…
Brewed by Müller Bräu
Style: Dry Stout
Baden, Switzerland
Founded in 1897 by the brewer Hans Müller, Müller Bräu is a small fourth generation family run brewery located in the town of Baden in North Switzerland. The brewery is still located in its original location, in fact the industrial town has more or less developed around the brewery which is handy as it always has newer thirsty customers to cater for!
Innovative, while at the same time traditional, the brewery uses old style recipes of yesteryear and gets its water from its own spring.
Brewed by Distelhäuser Brauerei Style: Porter Distelhausen, Tauberbischofsheim, Germany
The Black Pearl Classic Porter is produced by the Distelhäuser brewery in Tauberbischofsheim, a place I am not even sure is real! According to my good friend Google, it is a southern German town, and a small town at that, in the north-east of Baden-Württemberg on the river Tauber with a population of about 12,700.
The brewery was founded in 1811 as Brewery Womann, but since 1876 it has been owned by the Bauer family.
At the moment, 21 different beer specialties are being produced in Distelhausen according to the old traditional brewing methods of the region and, of course, in accordance with the German purity law (Reinheitsgebot) of 1516.
The Distelhäuser Brewery is one of the most successful breweries in Germany, measured by the number of awards for its products. Its Pils, Wheat Beer, Hefe-Weizen, Landbier, its export, are all amongst a bevy of beers that have won Gold, silver or bronze in the World Beer Cup. Too many to list.
Review: 0,33l Bottle of Black Pearl Classic Porter: ABV: 6.6% vol
To note: the Black Pearl Classic Porter hasn’t won anything in the World Beer Cup!!
Comes in a nice bottle with a lovely looking logo, black writing on a nice yellow background.
The appearance was one of a lovely frothy tan head, as expected a very dark black beer with hints of purple.
The head does die a death and eventually goes flat near the end.
Flat. Looks all a bit shitty really.
Has a really lovely porter smell, nice. Really good smell, not faint but striking of roasted malts, coffee, dark chocolate, light caramel.
On the taste side of things, found it very hoppy!!
Bit dry in the mouth.
Not much to taste, just the hops in the end.
All in the back end, hoppy, no coffee, no toffee, very disappointing, this is meant to be a porter after all. Could smell them on the nose but they vanished when it came to the taste!
Relatively smooth with the roasted malts, but it is a porter and you expect some of the porter tastes and characteristics, or at least I couldn’t detect them.
Disappointing.
Brewed by Tyskie Browary (Asahi) Style: Euro Pale Lager Poznan, Poland
Tyskie is a Polish beer, coming from the the town of Tychy in Upper Silesia, in the south east of the country. The beer has won numerous international awards and is the number one beer brand in Poland, and due to the mass exodus of the natives living and working all over Europe, the beer is pretty much available to buy anywhere there is a large population of Poles.
Don’t mind the Polish influx this side of the world, nice looking woman, bloody hard working folk and nice of them to introduce us to some of their beers too.
The brewery in Tychy is one of the oldest in Europe, from 1629, with beer produced continuously for almost 400 years. Originally in German control, it took a while before it was in actual Polish hands, what with the Wars and all against their neighbours, and that’s where it has remained since………..albeit In 2016 the Japanese group, Asahi Group Holdings, acquired the brand from Anheuser-Busch InBev.
The main brands are Tyskie Gronie (a 5.5% pale lager) and Książęce Tyskie (5.7% classic lager) premium beers.
Review: 500ml Bottle of Tyskie Gronie: ABV: 5.5%
Nice big brown looking bottle that is a 500 ml bottle, and not the usual 300ml sized one can get, which is all good, that bit more to drink! Like the striking label, which apparently depicts the royal crown of Polish King, John III Sobieski, born in 1629, the same year the brewery was founded.
Based on the original recipe all those years ago.
Head big on pour, a huge white head. Golden clear colour.
Head reduces in size but maintains.
Bit of carbonation. Not a bad looking beer.
Get a lot in the bottle!
Lovely smell although a bit tinty and stringent, of light citrus.
Bit soapy on initial taste, a very industrial taste.
Hoppy and too sweet at start. Bit sickly. Not nice.
Creamy mouth feels.
Ok not really enjoying this. Tasty but not nice flavours. Manageable, just about!
Gave me a bit of a head the next day which I didn’t want or need! Like an angry uncle!!
Will the Polish drink any old shit? Will pass on this in the future, disappointing………..
Brewed by Brouwerij Duvel Moortgat Style: Belgian Strong Pale Ale Breendonk-Puurs, Belgium
Duvel Moortgat Brewery (Brouwerij Duvel Moortgat) is a Flemish family-controlled brewery founded in 1871 by Jan-Leonard Moortgat.
Its flagship beer, the highly rated Duvel, is a strong golden pale ale that is exported to more than forty countries. Duvel is Brabantian, Ghent and Antwerp dialect for devil! The story goes that a regular drinker of the beer described it as a real devil to drink, what with the 8.5% ABV, and so the name of the beer was changed from Victory Ale, its original name, to Duvel.
The yeast used in Duvel is refined from the original strain of Scottish yeast that was bought back by Albert Moortgat during a business tour of the U.K. in 1918. On return he started Duvel. The brewery is still in the hands of the Moortgat family, now in its fourth generation of ownership.
The brewery also produce a variety of different hopped Duvels, some strong Abbey beers, and The Vedett which is a trendy luxury lager, but its their Duvel that is the big seller and main beer of the brewery.
The brewery has had a successful collaboration in the past with Tulborg, the Danish beer group, which helped it with international distribution lines.
In 2006, Duvel Moortgat bought fellow Belgian brewery the popular Brasserie d’Achouffe, and in 2010, they acquired 100 percent of the shares in the De Koninck Brewery, another Belgian favourite.
Review: 330ml Bottle of Duvel: ABV: 8.5%
Like the cutesy small stubby brown bottle, with the well known Duvel brand. Ideally to be drank in a tulip glass as all good Belgian ales should be, but I am not a connoisseur just a regular beer dude so an ordinary beer glass will just have to do. Sorry!
Got a massive head on pour, gee whiz a very big frothy head!
Good bit of carbonation, nice creamy white top, took a while to settle.
Colour was cloudy orange, doesn’t look great at all, looks shit in fact.
Head collapses and dies.
Some good lacing……..
On the nose has that usual Belgian ale smell, wheat, the yeast, the coriander, floral hops, fruits of lemon and banana. A very typical Belgian!
A very strong intense smell, really powerful stuff on the nose….which is too be welcomed as I usually smell fuck all from my beers, lol!
On the taste I found it very strong, with a sour taste, very bitter aftertaste and can definitely feel the beer. Yeast and firm hop bitterness. Very strong, got a powerful kick, alright.
Didn’t initially like it at all, but in the end I liked it, took a while for my taste buds to get to enjoy this beer. Found it a slow burner and not bad overall.
Wow, I was buzzing after the two. The 8.5% definitely kicks in.
Nice, I like it, strong to drink, but it does the business in the end.
Have a few of these and you are off your head!!!
Brewed by Brauerei Moninger GmbH Style: Pilsener Karlsruhe, Germany
Difficult to figure out where exactly this beer is from or who brews it, as its under licence and and specifically brewed for the German supermarket chain, Edeka stores, who are mainly based in Hamburg.
I might be wrong, but I think it is brewed and produced mainly by the German Hatz-Moninger brewery from Karlsruhe, under license. The beers are mainly sold in six packs and are popular amongst discount buyers!
Review: Can of Ratskrone Premium Pilsner: ABV: 4.7% (Some regions 4.9%)
Brewed according to the German purity law, like all German beers, but nice enough to remind us on the can! But its a very cheap discount beer bought from Aldi, so lets see……
Has the appearance of a clear golden yellow colour beer with a nice fluffy white head, ok looking, not bad.
Good beery smell, grainy and malty
Bit of a spicy taste initially, very sweet!!
Good enough mouthfalls I guess but overall not great at all, not much at all to get excited about.
Ok, but just too watery with little hint of alcohol, just a hint of the malts and grains.
Not much taste, bit metallic in the end.
Tasteless overall, and bland.
A discount beer, yes, but there are good discount beers out there so just cause its dead cheap doesn’t mean it should taste rubbish.
First question is naturally………. what the fuck is a Maibock?
A Bock is a darkish, malty, lightly hopped ale first brewed in the 14th century by German brewers in the town of Einbeck. It got its name “ein Bock,” meaning “Billy Goat” in German as people mispronounced the town of Einbeck, and for that reason you will often see goats on the beer labels of bocks. It is usually a strong lager from 6% to as high as 12% ABV., sweet, and lightly hopped. The beer should be clear, and colour can range from light copper to brown, with a plentiful off-white head. The aroma should be malty and toasty, possibly with hints of alcohol, but no detectable hops or fruitiness.The mouthfeel is smooth, with low to moderate carbonation and no astringency. The taste is rich and toasty, sometimes with a bit of caramel. Again, hop presence is low to undetectable, providing just enough bitterness so that the aftertaste is muted.
A Bock is historically associated with special occasions, often religious festivals such as Christmas, Easter or Lent. Bocks have a long history of being brewed and consumed by Bavarian monks as a source of nutrition during times of fasting.
Several substyles exist, including maibock (helles bock, heller bock), a paler, more hopped version generally made for consumption at spring festivals; doppelbock (double bock), a stronger and maltier version; and eisbock, a much stronger version made by partially freezing the beer and removing the ice that forms.
As for this beer, the Eichbaum Brewery was founded way, way back in 1674 by Jean de Chaine from Southern Belgium, originally as a small brewpub, and while the exact location changed, its home and heart has always been in the city of Mannheim, a southern German city touching the Rhine. The name Eichbaum came from the German translation of his family name.
All was going well for many years until the Nazis got into power. As the company had a substantial Jewish shareholdership, they were all expelled and the company was nationalized. WW2 resulted in the company ceasing to produce any beer. But after the war, the company reopened and did well since they were the main beer supplier for the American army that was now based in Germany at that time!
Since the 70’s the brewery has changed ownership many times but nowadays it is operated as a private brewery, Eichbaum GmbH & Co KG.
Today, the brewery is one of the largest and most efficient breweries in the Baden-Württemberg region of Germany. Not only is it the oldest company in Mannheim but it is also one of the most modern. State-of-the-art brewing and bottling technologies make for an annual output of 1.8 million hectolitres, resulting in more than 16 different beers produced annually for its every widening market.
Review: 0,5l Bottle of Eichbaum Maibock: ABV: 7.2%
A Maibock, also known as helles bock or heller bock, is a lightly coloured beer, less malty and drier in the finish to a regular bock, and has a spicy or peppery taste coming from the hops. Colour can range from deep gold to light amber with a large, creamy, persistent white head, and moderate to moderately high carbonation, while alcohol content ranges from 6.3% to 7.4% by volume. The flavour is typically less malty than a traditional bock, and may be drier, hoppier, and more bitter, but still with a relatively low hop flavour, with a mild spicy or peppery quality from the hops, increased carbonation and alcohol content.
Has an interesting logo of a big goat, that’s the billy goat representing its name “Ein Bock”
Appearance isn’t the best to be honest. The head does die in seconds and it has a general appearance of a flat beer with no lacing.
Having said that the beer does have a lovely golden colour, and it is a very clear beer with some small carbonation going on.
But head is shit, really no head, it fizzles away quickly, falls flat.
Get a lot in the bottle though.
A nice sweet smell, pleasant on the nose. I got malts, and some caramel, and a bit of a general lager smell. It was nice on the nose.
No standout tastes.
Got a caramel taste, bit bitter sweet in the aftertaste, not much in front end. Very boring beer, dull. Not nice at all. Certainly not a session beer.
Very hoppy and bitter. A struggle to drink.
Can’t feel the alcohol, no kick. Very dry in the mouth
Very dry cardboard. Too hoppy for me, yuck, what a disappointment.
Brewed by Hijos De Rivera Style: Pale Lager A Coruña, Galicia, Spain
In the year of 1906 a Mr. José María Rivera Corral, who had just returned from his trip to Mexico and full of enthusiasm and bright ideas, decided to start his own brewery in the city of La Coruña, in the North West of Spain and called it the “La Estrella de Galicia” factory whose main products would be beers and soft drinks.
Today José María Rivera, is company president. What? No not the original, he aint that fecking old, but its his great grandson and namesake, showing that for over 100 years the company has remained in family hands.
In the 90’s the company diversified and expanded into new markets such as for mineral water, juices, ciders and vinegars. But the main brand of the brewery is Estrella Galicia, a 5.5% abv pale lager brewed since the beginning of the brewery, and a brand that is found all over Spain and also exported to the UK, Germany, Switzerland, Portugal, Brazil, Mexico and the United States, amongst others.
Review: 33cl Bottle of Estrella Galicia : ABV: 5.5%
Came in a nicely looking brown bottle with the Estrella Galicia logo standing out.
On pour I got a big fluffy white head and a golden coloured beer. Head does maintain well, but there is a lot of carbonation and feck me there isn’t much left to come out of the bottles, a lot of it evaporated!!!
Get a faint lagery, yeasty and malty smell, very malty smell in fact but it is ok.
Not a bad first impression, a nice light bodied taste on mouthful, easy to chug, not bad. Light, no bitter tastes.
Corn taste to it as well.
Smooth and crisp, very smooth.
Smooth, no great standout tastes. or complex flavours, but its a regular lager so dont expect too much. Light in the mouth. Overall not bad, solid.
Lager taste. Barley malts. Light and smooth. Nice mouthfuls. Good session beer, pleasant and easy enough to drink, I liked it overall.
Ok, not bad, and can imagine it would be a good accompaniment to some tapas on a hot Spanish day.
Brewed by Rügener Insel-Brauerei GmbH Style: Strong Ale Rambin auf Rügen, Germany
The Rügen Island Brewery is a Craft Beer Brewery in Rambin on the island of Ruegen, the biggest island of Germany (in itself not that big, only 926.4 km² big). Surrounded on most sides by the Baltic sea, the area is characterized by diverse shore line landscapes with many lagoons, beaches and and white chalk cliffs. The brewery is unique in that it is smack bang in the middle of nowhere, at one with nature right in the heart of the island. But it is a new tourist attraction to this wild area, as it offers visitors a guided tour of its magnificent modern brewery, has a beer garden for beer tasting, and store to buy their extensive collection.
Founded in 2014 by Markus Berberich, who formerly worked as Managing Director at the Störtebeker Braumanufaktur in Stralsund. These contacts and his twenty year experience in the beer industry helped him no end in setting up his own brewery in the picturesque island.
The brewery produces a variety of different beers which, unlike most breweries, are brewed not in steel tanks, but in open fermentations, and always using natural hops. In addition, the company relies on bottle fermentation. The bottles are wrapped in paper to protect the beer from lightning, and cause it also looks cool (or at least that’s what I think!). Its most popular beers are the Island chalk (champagne ale), its Sea Maiden (Sauerbier) and the one I reviewed, the Baltic Ale. In 2016 the brewery won in the World Beer Awards for its IPA, voted the best in the world, which goes to show how good these beers really are!
Review: 0,33l Bottle of Insel-Brauerei Baltic Ale: ABV: 7.5%
Bottle comes in a very nice well wrapped light brown paper with a nice picture of an eagle on it. caught the eye and that’s why I bought it as it looks well cool. Also explains on the package how the beer won gold in the London 2016 World Beer Award for the category of “beste deutsche brauereri” (Best German Brewery)
As for “Baltic Ale”, I could be wrong but I am assuming it is regular ale that is developed with a Russian/Baltic tinge? Stronger than normal. But it could also be because the brewery is near the Baltic sea!
On pour, fuck me a shit lot of carbonation, well carbonated. Calm down big boy!
But thankfully its all ok as it leaves a nice golden coloured beer that has a nice sized frothy head, and lots of good lacing.
Colour does get a bit cloudy and hazy after a while, but overall it is a decent looker.
Didn’t get much of a smell, pretty faint but was yeast, fruits and coriander.
Lovely initial taste. GORGEOUS in fact!
A light wheat beer taste for me. Smooth enough. Nice relaxing beer, got the yeast, the hops, the citrus.
Lovely smooth beer. Nice beer to relax on a Friday after a hard long week.
Really good. Aftertaste is sweetish. Excellent! Lots of well balanced flavours
Hops not too discerning and manageable, low bitterness. Alcohol well hidden, pleasant to drink.
Liked it, and am very interested in trying out some of their other brews………Recommended.
You are looking at the mirror and you dont like what you see? You need to lose the beer belly. Cut down on the food? But I love my steaks! Now you could give up beer, but that would be foolish. Why not try to join a gym? Nah, too expensive and full of posers. Play some five a side? Yes, but I dont want to completely kill myself, and I dont have the silky skills I once had which is so demoralizing. So there is nothing for it but to try a bit of jogging/running.
Doesn’t cost much to go running, a pair of old trainers and some shorts and that ACDC t shirt, if it still fits, and voila you are a mean running machine! You can also go running pretty much anywhere, within reason, and within your own set time. Also not only is running excellent for your health, it can also be quite meditative. Many a time after a hard day and feeling down that a good hard run has lifted the spirits. I run through a forested area at night, so I guess I am down and at one with nature, and all the teens smoking dope, it feels real good when its finished. A real high, a legal one.
So here are a few things that I do when I go for a training run or race.
Running Gear
Get yourself a comfortable pair of runners/trainers. Now I got an expensive pair and a cheap pair, and actually the cheap pair works best for me. It’s not flashy or has padded insoles but I feel comfortable in them and that’s what is important. Remember you will be pounding on these trainers day in day out hour after hour, so you really need a good pair, so no fucking around on the running shoes. But the experts will tell you this and that, but just go with what you feel is good for you……..
Warm-Up!
Now I Know for lazy feckers, you perhaps might skip this, shure isn’t the race/run enough itself, but really a warm up works wonders for loosening the muscles pre run. A little stretch here and there and a warm jog just to make sure your muscles wont snap when you start, and that you have pre heated the engine.
Music/breathing!
I would definitely recommend not using music to help you go for a run. Yes its cool to listen to your fav bands as you do your job but you are not listening to your breathing, which will help you with your pace and technique and helps you to find your breathing rhythm, which over time can help you with pacing yourself and also in relaxation.
Breathing is important, and that’s why you have to listen to it. Breathing too much, spluttering and catching the breaths, then slow it down, relax, try to slow it down a little, and you would be surprised at the results. over time you can learn to handle it. Listening to your body is the only thing you should be hearing!
Water!
Drink lots of the the stuff! It helps you to re-hydrate! Drink water before, during (if you can) and after all runs. Try running dehydrated, its hard!
But its not just water, it is also good to drink isotonic sports and energy drinks…….like Lucozade or Gatorade for example. They have all the ingredients needed to give you that extra kick and help replenish any important minerals you might have lost.
Running styles
Try to lead forward with your chest and keep the upper body straight, which will ease the tension on your shoulders and neck and help you feel a little relaxed when running. Also try to pump up your arms forward and back, it usually works for me and helps to get me into some sort of rhythm.
On thing I like to do at times when I run is to set targets on the course, or time targets, and try my damnest to make them. if I am slow then I press ahead as fast as I can, and that can mean sometimes sprinting like mad to make the next target. This fast, slow, fast running is good for getting you slowly used to quick paces. The more you do the more you can increase the targets, the more you get used to running at a faster pace at a longer time. Also it breaks up the sometime monotony of running, which lets face it can get boring after a while.
As you get older I find it takes a good while for the body to warm up as you set out on your run. I am like an old car that starts its journey, spluttering and creaking, but what I find funny is that after about 5 or 6 minutes the body suddenly goes into autopilot and then I am completely fine. I can run for an hour after that without too much complication, as long as it is a steady pace. But apparently there is some science to this, as it takes six to 10 minutes and one degree in body temperature to push all the blood to the working muscles. Once that happens you will experience a light warm sweat and then the pace sets itself to autopilot. So the thing is wait at least ten minutes before you decide to think “fuck this shit, I’m off to the pub!”, keep with it and low and behold you will get that steady run you set out to achieve from the beginning.
Also worth to note and kind of obvious, but dont go like the clappers at the start. Go slow, pace yourself, be relaxed, note your distance, and try to enjoy the race if you can.
The fast finish!
Don’t go mad at the start, or perhaps the middle, but always keep something in the tank for the end. This takes practice over time. on any run you do, try and leave something in the legs just to finish the last few stretches fast. Try running quickly over the last 5 minutes flat out of you can, to build up your technique. Pushing yourself like this will show what you can and cant do on a finishing strait, and you might be surprised that runners generally always have something left, even if they aware not aware of it.
Track and record your running
I use Noom Coach to keep abreast of my daily calorie count, and it also records any running you do, which frees of some space for more food! Freeletics is good too, for tracking some exercise and also for runs, and it is great for breaking down your run in terms of speed, pace and average times. Of course they are many more specific apps, more particular for actual running, like RunKeeper or MapMyRun. Its good to keep track of your progress,or lack of it.
Running with a hangover
I might have been still a little drunk when I started the race, but trust me I was all sober when I finished!
So as Basel had won the championship the night before I went out to celebrate. And celebrate I did, 6 beers and two shots later I think I got home around 3 or 4.
Amazingly I managed to get up early for the train to Zug, which was leaving at about 6.30…….so safe to say I was in not the best state of mind for a mountain run. I was simply dying on the train, sweating buckets and so, so tired…..and the head……oh dear.
So what does a hangover do to your body and what affects would it have on your morning run/jog or in my case slow walk and crawl (up that “Cunt of a mountain!”).
Well for a start you will be severely dehydrated, have low blood sugar and low energy levels……your performance will be affected that’s for sure, the alcohol, that is more than likely still in your system, will slow you down big time. But there is no need to kill yourself, the fact you are running so soon after a great night out is an accomplishment enough, no need to try and break any records or get a high placing. I walked 4 out of the 6K, ran the first and last 1k, happy in the knowledge that I was the fastest drunk on the course, for sure!
So what can you do to limit the pain……well as I have mentioned a few times already…..drink lots of water, try to drink a bucket load of water as soon as you get up…..or even before you go to bed, (but that’s not going to happen, eh!). Remember it takes a lot of water to purge all that lovely alcohol you had the night before.
Also try and get some grub inside you, might hold some of the beer together that’s sloshing round your stomach. Normally an Irish/British style breakfast would do just the business in a situation like this, but remember you also have to shit that out…….so something small but useful…..an omelette is good as eggs are excellent for refueling. Also a smoothie with some bananas should be efficient enough.
I mentioned shitting, disgusting I know, but it has to be done before the race no matter what, because believe me you dont want to be half way round the course holding your arse cheeks together, lol.
Are there any positives about running with a hangover? Yes there are…..for one it should sweat out all the beer you had the night before…..It also has the effect that by the end of the run or race you should have completely sobered up, or at least feel less shitty. The endorphins and the fresh healthy air, and the sense of accomplishment makes you feel like a champ. To celebrate I’d recommend having a few beers to let it all sink in, but perhaps not repeat it again the next morning so soon!
But be aware doing too much of this can be very harmful to your health. As alcohol is a strong diuretic, depleting your water volume, it means that your heart has to beat faster and harder to get the blood pumping round your body. Anything that puts a serious strain on your heart is best avoided to be honest.
Running when drunk
But what about running while actually drunk, never mind about the sleeping bit or the inbetween bit, but just drink up and run? Running while pished as a fart. Is it possible to do?
I have often done it myself while going home. The trams are stopped at about 3 or 4, and any extra change I have had after the night of boozing went on the kebab and not on a taxi, so its a long walk, but fuck that….I have often just did a jog with some short sprints here and there to make that long walk a little shorter.
Of course it does depend on how drunk you are. If you are pretty legless I dont think running will be good for you, as you might just run straight into a ditch or a road sign and end up doing some damage to yourself and your ego.
I also have to mention that there are a few races where drinking is acceptable. We have the hash runs that are popular in cities around the world, and where the running is not competitive and drinking is encouraged after the event, or at times during the run!
There is also the Beer Mile, where each competitor drinks four cans of beer (minimum 5%) and runs four laps on a track. Yeah, 4 beers, fuck off. Could you be bothered for fucks sake. More like ten beers a few shots of the spirit of your choice, and a kebab and then a mountain run, now that is a fucking race. Amateurs!!
Of course I prefer the more traditional beer crawl, where competitors run, walk, or crawl from pub to pub. I am pretty good at this one and it requires no running gear, race times, or training per say!
The actual damn race (The Zugerberg Classic)
Zug, in the canton of Zug, central Switzerland, is a very beautiful town with its amazing views of the lake, lake Zug that is!
The town is quite wealthy with its population of about 30,000 people enjoying its nice low tax policy and the offer of plenty of work in the towns many multi national high end industries.
It has a very lovely old town, and the view of the lake and the nearby mountain ranges on the promenade is pretty cool. All in all its a bloody nice town.
This is all fine, as long as we dont mention that massacre that happened back in 2001, where some nutjob shot and killed 15 people including himself in the cantonal parliament of Zug. And they say the Swiss are responsible with their guns……
Getting to the city is easy enough, its near Zurich via both rail network and motorway, about 30 minutes journey for both.
So in any case, I was there for the race, the The Zugerberg Classic, a race that takes place every year, usually sometime at the start of May, for runners and mountain bikers from the old city of Zug right upto the top of a small mountain! The running distance is six kilometers (6.2 km to be exact) with a height difference of 540 m and the mountain biker for a distance of 25 km with an altitude of 1000 m. The race is open to clubs, children and teenagers, men and women, right up to old folks who are on their last legs.
Well there are two races to report. The one where I had the hangover, as mentioned, and where I came near the end……..
And the race the year after, where I didn’t have a hangover, albeit was tired after a Gaelic football blitz the day before, but ran in a much quicker fashion, that it to say there were enough people behind me to save embarrassment.
Race one/Severe Hangover 2016
As I mentioned I had a lot to drink the night before (6 beers, two shots), only a few hours sleep and was sweating buckets and dehydrated. But I didn’t want to disappoint a friend who was waiting for me at the station, as we were doing the race together. he wasn’t out the night before though.
Didn’t know what to expect really, as it was my first race in years and with the hangover my mind wasn’t straight. But start we did, near the end mind, and after about 500 metres I was beginning to notice that this seems to be a bit hilly!!! Told my running mate to go and run his own race as I didn’t want to drag him down to my level, and off he went in the distance. There was no let up in the height, up and up it went, so after the first 1K decided to speed walk it, thinking I could run any flat bits in between. Thing was there were no flats bits not until the last 1K, so I basically walked most of it. Children past me by, old people with walking sticks smiling and waving out walking me, one guy with a plastic leg fucking passed me, then a Japanese lady who had a trainer caught me……..Jesus I looked around and there was only me and this old fella with his shorts pulled right up his arse, fuck……but I beat him in the last straight, but it was close! I wasn’t going to come last. I later found out that there were a few Indians (not the native kind), about 5 or 6 who also walked it and were even slower than me…….jesus, they must have had a dodgy curry the night before! Anyway I did it and it took me a while to recover from it. My time was a very unimpressive 56.10 (5 people behind me!)
Race two/Not hungover but tired 2017
On Sunday May the 7th Sunday, 2017, I had paid my CHF 25.- entry fee online, registered and got my starting number good and early, I was on a mission to beat my previous time. Got there early enough, unlike the previous year. Registered early for the 9.20 start time.
This time I did a warm up, a good warm up and I have to say it made a good difference as it got the air pumping into my lungs and around the body, so much so that the start of the race wasn’t as frightful as the previous year.
Also I had the advantage of actually knowing the course, or at least having an idea of how painful it was, so I knew there was a killer in the middle and that near the end there was a few high hills to get over, but also that the last 1K was flattish and down, or at least not up! Funnily enough I wasn’t as fast as I expected on the last 1k, I had really nothing to give, everything was gone in the engine.
I tell you how high we were up in that all entrants have a free pass on the mountain funicular (cable railway) train back down to the edge of the town, which is great cause I didn’t fancy walking back down.
After the race all the competitors and organizers get together in the big hall to wind down, eat some food freshly cooked on the BBQ, have a chat, and relax.
So I hung around eagerly awaiting the results, very curious to know how much I had knocked off my previous time. I came in at 49.31, bettering my PB by about 6 and a half minutes which was ok I guess, and this time a good amount of slow bastards behind me, about 24. Suckers!!!
I have to say all in all the race is a well organised event, and I will be back again in 2018 to further eat away at my PB! If you want to see how fit and healthy you are then there is no doubt this is the race to do! Definitely! Roll on Zugerberg Death Run 2018
Race three: UPDATE 2018 RESULT!
Did the Zugerberg Run again, third time out. Unfortunately, as before, I didn’t get a good nights sleep as I went to see some friends play (Uncle Bard & The Dirty Bastards and Keltikon) in a Celtic Punk Concert the night before and didn’t get home till 1:30 after drinking about 7 pints. Concert was good fun and good to see some old friends again.
Nevertheless I got up early and travelled to Zug, there good and early. Had many toilet breaks as I had drank some Guinness the night before!
Ran and it felt terrible, much worse than last year. Didn’t feel comfortable throughout the race, and walked quite a good bit of the course. So was really surprised then to know that my time was 45.46, a good 3 minutes 45 minutes quicker than my previous years run, so yes a new PB! And this time there were 44 people behind me!
So what I can take from this is that despite an awful run I am getting quicker and fitter. And who knows what I could run in the Zugerberg run if I ever get the fucking chance to have a good rest the day and night before!!!