A chat with Tom the Beer Whisperer, take two! As explained at start of video this was the second effort at this chat, as the previous day we had too much of an echo in the video.
Also my first effort at Goggle Hangout so be kind!!
Thanks to Tom for his patience and for sharing his beer thoughts and experiences
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So we were lucky enough to have a 2 hour private tour with Marco from “Drugs Tour Amsterdam”, a tour group who are trying to give the low down on Amsterdam’s drug culture, both the myths and the reality. In fact I think they are the first, if only, tour group that offers this insight into the hot spots of the city including the Red Light District, and where topics include the history of Coffeeshops, what are the purpose of Heroin Users Rooms, how the police and other instutions help in the quality control and testing of illegal drugs, the religion of the Ayahuasca Church, a look at Absinthe and Van Gogh, and basic information of all the rest! Participants will also learn about the positive social implications and effective results in decreasing cannabis and hard drugs consumption of the Dutch drugs policy. The tour is informative, educational and fun. Marco, our guide, showed us around the centre of Amsterdam pointing out key landmarks and cultural reference points with regards drugs/alcohol/and the sex trade.
BOOK YOUR FREE TOUR TODAY, EMAIL: booking@drugstour.com
The History of the Red Light Zone
Amsterdam was born as a city as an international port, actually there was, with London actually with the British Empire, was one of the big empire that was going back and forth. Was born as a crossing ways and actually of course there are Sailors, with money started with prostitution.
You remember the church where we found where we met, this is called the Oude Kerk that means Old church and it has been built there in order to stop prostitution
It didn’t work!
(So prostitution was there first!)
Yes, yes the prostitute was here first and they try to make this church in order to bring some decent life and they failed totally
(So they had lots of randy priests running around the place?)
Now is came the best, on the 13th century they decided to make it legal and the prostitutes or the tenants had to go to the priest in order to have the extension from the sin for a certain period for example. You will be free of sin for one week, so for the week they could do everything because they were very catholic and of course they had to pay, yes we are talking about the Catholic Church.
(You kind of have to respect them for that, don’t you really!)
Actually I’m Italian so I have Catholicism in my vein and I hate it! Italy is a wonderful place with a big cancer inside that is called the city of Vatican. I love the pope but the church by itself is not good
(We understand. We are from Ireland so you don’t have to tell us, you don’t have to tell us!)
That’s true, actually I think that we are spoiled as well like you
Ok, ah yes, 13th century it become legal and actually this bring a new wave of using prostitution
First of all its not so bad the scene as in other countries
Here it’s normal, in fact here you can find during the Saturday morning, and the Sunday, and the Friday Saturday morning you can see even school that is passing by in the red-light because they have to spend one lesson about sexual stuff and so they check out the red lights, this within the cities, and they have to spend one lesson talking about drugs in the schools. So you can see sometimes the school
The fact that now its so clean and everything is perfect is because they started to show everything.
All these girls are self-employed, they pay about from 50 to 150 of rent for one day, 8 hours of window, and normally you pay from 50 to 70 euro for what they call Suck and fuck, I mean 15 minutes because they are very good in 15 minutes they are done!
Blowjob and a fuck normally with a brown (?). you have always to contract the price when you get in.
Suck and fuck maybe they are totally covered and you can not take pictures and there is a very intense security system. You see all these windows , at the back of the window there is a corridor that connects with other rooms. If they hear some scream, or she hit a hidden button, arise immediately Two or three giant men, they send you out.
In fact if you pay for the night sometimes you are yahh (drunk and angry), people like that and If they are sent out from here normally they finish in the canal!
(So do they have to pay a tax to the government?)
Yes of course. They pay taxes and actually taxes of marijuana, and taxes of prostitution are two big revenues, especially the Amsterdam city and that’s why these places are not closed. Because they makes a lot of money
There are girls that come here for making 6 to 8 months of prostitution and then they pay 5 years of university because if you think 50 minutes, lets have 3 clients per hour, 8 hours is 150 per 8 hours is already 1000 in a day
(And there is tax on this?)
Yes of course, but even taxes, because as you have costs. Ok you can say I have done ten customers, inside you have 30. Its like the coffee shop, the coffee shop as well, they pay taxes but there is no registry. And I will explain you later how it works. But in the register they can say I just sold one kilos of weed, in fact they sold 3 kilos. Because there is no register of whose coming they can sell whatever they want. But since its working good for the society….
(What do the ordinary Amsterdam people think of all this?)
Actually Its normal, its like a a sign on the corner, because its perfectly normal and its normal for example to have a neighbour that is a hooker
Here in fact, this thing I was telling you about that a drug user is not seen as a criminal. It works even for prostitutes. They are making maybe an uncomfortable job, but not a dirty job , like in all the other places. And With the systems, ok you have people who of course here there is lots of noise, people yahha, horny and back, but this way I don’t know how it is on your places but In Italy prostitution is not legal but you find hookers on the road. People who stop on the verge of the road have accident, have public disturbance and everything and this absolutely brings more criminality.
This way of course I think there are some of them are spoiled or exploited by some other people but almost 70% of the prostitutes here are here for their will not because they have been imported and forced to prostitution
(It’s the best of what you can do, I guess)
(What percentage are from the Netherlands?)
Actually from this point of view don’t really know because there is no registry, they have the guilds….but they give you no information
Some ideas in your country, Here are totally normal
(I guess with this kind of system, like with the shops closing, the situation can change very quickly, all the time?)
Yes, even the windows are under the supervision of the major that can reduce or enlarge the Red light district on his will, just enough that he just when a window finishes a license he doesn’t renew it. So in fact there was a lot more windows around here. Now if you go later will make a round when you come back one of my favourite spots because there are models
(Yeah, yeah, will I stop recording will I?)
You are married??????
Coffeeshops
Meanwhile I smoke a cigarette?
(Only cigarettes, those things will kill you, tobacco, that’s the worst!)
Yes I know but its one of the things I cannot quit, tobacco, weed and girls
Ok coffeeshops, I told you in 1976 the Netherlands decided to make this division
Hard drugs and Soft drugs and for the soft drugs they created these places that are called coffeeshops, you can in these places was and is allowed to consume and sell weed
While outside in the city is not absolutely allowed or permitted to sell or consume weed
Here In the centre of Amsterdam if you go around with a joint in the street they don’t tell you nothing because you are in the centre of duke
Just go in another place or just outside Amsterdam with a joint, if you cross the cops they stop you, they give you a fine because you are not a criminal you are doing something bad because it is for public nuisance but you are not a criminal they just give you a fine and adjourn
The coffeeshop, since they work outside the law, since cannabis is illegal and this is absolutely true, they work in this so called grey zone, that it means, grey zone, is a grey zone that is between legal and illegal , the police knows but don’t care.
There is a backdoor policy, I mean that of course they cannot buy weed from anybody because growing weed for selling is an offence and is a very big offence. If you can grow by yourself until upto 5 plants in your apartment and the 6th plant you could be arrested. Usually they take you away the plants and they let you go because anyway it is low priority
Weed and hashish seem not to make real damage to society, to other people they are not taking care
If you are talking about hard drugs they find you with a personal dose of hard drugs they take it away and they let you go. Hard dose, about 2 or 3 grams of cocaine or heroin they give you a fine, if you have more they can give you dealing charges
And actually how it works the coffeeshop
There are growers that actually usually connected to the hell angels or to smugglers that grow in apartment a huge number of plants and they sell it to the coffeeshop from the so called back door, this is the famous back door when they call they speak about the back door of a coffee shop it is this system. From the back door arrive a guy, that is called a runner with his bag full of weed, half a kilo of this, half a kilo of this and half a kilo of this
If you are a private you can go around the city with 5 grams of weed, top, without any problem
The coffeeshop can have a maximum of 500 grams in the place and the place related so even the place where the coffeeshop owner is living. So in fact sometimes when they want to close a coffeeshop they make a raid in the coffeeshop in the place of the guy and everything is related and if they find even one gram more, they’re done
Now in many cities outside Amsterdam they are required to be a resident In order to enter into a coffee shop
(Oh, Really?)
Yes, especially in the south because this is intended as a measure in order to stop the smuggling to Belgium, Germany and France
(So we couldn’t enter that place?)
No, no here in Amsterdam they don’t ask you. The minimum that you must be of legal age of 18
The coffeeshop runs with 5 golden rules. No hard drugs. No people under 18
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh
(Ha. No more than 500 grams)
No more than 500 grams in total. No weapons, no I already told that
I’m certainly tired!
(Its ok, No alcohol)
No alcohol
There is a bar.There is the trick for example. There is a bar that has near a coffeeshop, together with the coffeeshop you are going into your bar and have your joint. Your beer, you Jägermeister or..
Actually there is a bar that I have seen that you can have joints as well
This is actually an exception to the rule because they can get a fine, if they come in and we still adhere to the European law that all the places are actually no smoking and you have to have a place for smoking area
There are some bars that don’t give a shit. Sometimes you have to chip in 10 cents in order so when they come they get the fine they already have the ……
And If they fail in any of these 5 rules, the premises is closed immediately. No mercy about that
In fact this is another thing that makes this thing work, you have boundaries in which you can do whatever you want
Just step outside these boundaries they are going to beat you very hard
(Kind of like self-policing then, they know…)
Exactly, but for example even for drug addicts, junkies of heroin some people that are in a certain state that they are really very addicted, old, this kind of stuff. They have no money they (the government) normally give house, and some money for living and the drug and the Heroin for the daily dose. If they are caught in doing something illegal but even if they, I don’t know, sleeping on the street or this kind of stuff, they lose all their privileges
This way they are actually motivated, motivating them in order to behave
(A set of rules, follow them!)
So in this way many of the junkies actually have an active social life, they have a job, they pay the taxes, and some people that they meet, they are kind and normal people and from a point of view this is incredible, its quite a miracle because really heroin is one of the most destructive drugs ever seen, well now there is even worse but………..
Treatment centres for heroin users AND Ayahuasca
And this place is are the first source for help and treatment for heroin user. They have a very high percentage of people that are recovering without falling back
(Are people sleeping up there?)
There are rest room, they cannot sleep overnight because it’s not a hostel, but there are hostels all around the city even for junkies that they have to go here in order for their stuff and then for sleeping they have to go, for example, near the central station
(If something bad happens, I mean, there is medical help?)
There is residence of medical, there is, actually the lady on the first floor that is the one that is handling and sending the people to this room was an ex addict.That After 25 years of addiction She give up and she recovered completely, went to a community in the south of the Netherlands, and came back and she started to volunteer here, and now is 5 years.
(Can I bring that back to the first, eh The church of Acahuasca (Ayahuasca!))
Ayahuasca!
(Sorry I am …)
Ayahuasca, it was difficult for me, its an Inca word!
(So many people say that it’s a pretty good way of getting off heroin and hard drugs, because it’s a shock to the system, I mean I don’t know…..)
Absolutely, there are many people use it but this is not related to the religion because the religion is one thing you do all this kind of stuff
(Yeah I’m just wondering if that idea has been…)
No not yet, they are using a methadone programme in order to escalate it but lately they…
(Because some countries are thinking of that, I know Brazil and America…)
Yes but there is the problem of mental state, usually an addict is not mentally free, in order to have this kind of psychedelic experience you must have an inner balance that is powerful, this is why actually they don’t, ok I want to do Ayahuasca and you are making the rite of two month. It’s the priest that decides when you are ready because he sees you, about yeah, now you are ready, even if you have a problem because many people really they solve the problem during this trip
Actually it’s a sort of very similar to the Rite of the coming of age of the Indians of the Incas of America, that you do this very intense experience that makes you know yourself very well, and actually I think this is the real trick in the Ayahuasca, I mean that you have self-knowledge, and actually I can tell you……….
(A self-humility maybe is it?)
More than humility, you know more, you can except your limits, and honestly everybody takes drugs , me as the first person that has smoked and I did lots of ecstasy , amphetamine, and lot of things in the past because I was not comfortable with my limits , with my, that part of myself I didn’t like it. And the trip, sometimes if its done in a proper way can help you like that
The Ayahuasca treatment that you are talking about is actually is more shocking, and this is why it’s still controversial because it really like if your ice bucket in the face of ……….
(It is a kind of shock thing)
Yes exactly but there is a risk that ok, he give up with heroin, but he give even with social life
In fact psychedelics, some class of psychedelics, LSD, morning glory or Hawaiian baby woodrose that are hallucinogenic seeds and Ayahuasca must be treated very, very carefully
Because if you do the wrong steps you are fucked. Totally!
Be Careful!
They was conning you in an incredible way, even now if you go around there back and forth you will hear someone with their lips…..coke, and this kind of stuff. My suggestion is never take this kind of stuff because they always con you. You can get for coke a lidocaine that actually is an aesthetic, very similar, the same. If you try that, the cocaine is an aesthetic, you do like this (rub into your gums, etc) your mouth will disappear. The same with lidocaine but it doesn’t do nothing.
And there is, I’m going to show you, (rummages through his bag)
Ok, These are one of the most famous pills sold for ecstasy, you see there is an S. They are triangle, they are fake because they are, this one (aspirin) and they are sold even now.
For doing that, you see that because these (the aspirin) are giving by the police, so I can show you the lidocaine as well
This is lidocaine, its used by dentists, for anesthetising your mouth, and is sold as coke. If you are lucky, because if you are lucky you just get this stuff it doesn’t really harms you too much.
If you are unlucky you can……………
(So how much would one of those (lidocaine) be then, if they were selling them?)
10 euro, 12 euro
(ok, wow, for tourists they can have a field day)
1.5 euro expense euro and there are 15 pills inside, so let’s make a calculation. Yeah, there are people here who make a living just coning the tourists
(That would be an easy kind of thing to do, I suppose!)
(Sure everyone is out of their mind!)
(Lot of tourists coming here, I would feel, I mean I see a lot of people walking around completely spaced out!)
(Like do people fall into the canal, on a regular basis?)
Yes, Mostly Tourist and because they are doing psychedelics
I work in a smart shop during the day, and we sell Truffles, psychedelic truffles, these one gives you a lot of hallucination and believe me, and i that strongly believe that 80% of the people who fall in the canal because of these mushrooms
(And do a lot of people die in the canal?)
Not dying but getting bad diseases because actually its not clean this water, you can have from Rats, leptospirosis. Surely for skin disease you can have liver hepatitis. You come inside healthy you came out very, very ill!
(So that stats are good obviously, you are going to show us some impressive stats)
Yes exactly, because checkout, this is In the USA and in the Netherlands
People that used Once or more cannabis or cocaine once in their life
(for cannabis) In the US 14% in the Netherlands 22%
This is half and we are talking about residents that tried at least once
For cocaine 13% against 3 .4
This at least means that this policy keeps away the people that are not really intending to making drugs, starting with the drugs because here you have so many opportunities and alternatives you dont want to take the ecstasy. There are many alternatives that can boost you up, you don’t want to take the heroin. There is a a crouton (?) that has the same affects and is totally legal. And it is Not addictive
This policy gives the people the choice and actually they are making an even a big education in schools about the dangers of drugs. It is very unlikely that someone goes on cocaine, on ecstasy
As you can see even that its working
Check this out. In Europe.This is the number of problematics of drug users in the EU
Actually, The uk are on top
Safety
Here (junkies) have places where to go, you cannot see it. Walk around freely, you are not scared about someone comes up with a Syringe. Besides that, check out everywhere you look there is a camera. For one camera that you see, there is three that you don’t see So here this is the safest place in Europe, After London……………….
Absinthe
(What is Thujone, you mentioned that before ?)
Thujone, yes, Is a active component Of absinthe
(Is it the name of the molecule or something …?)
It’s the name of the substance. Taken out from the worm wood plant that is distilled and it’s a psychoactive component that open your mind, and in high quantities, gives you hallucination.
When he was doing absinthe, whoever was doing absinthe, in the old times, I mean the 17thcentury, 18th century the distillation was not perfect and was producing another elements that was connecting with your brain cells and was making the stopping with each other, stopping the connection with each other, and stopping the synapses
These are some of the paintings that has been Inspired by absinthe. This is one of the most famous, called the Muse
In fact I make electronic music, when I was making a bottle of absinthe I was making an album in one night. Maybe it was shit but I loved it!
(Yeah, yeah, you had a Lot of energy)
What do the Dutch think?
This is how the Dutch think about the period of danger of drug. They make a scale of 9 points for personal damage and 7 points for damage to society
As we can see Alcohol is the worst, it’s very wide, it’s used by everybody. There is no emphasising and no education about that.
And check out the less problematic is the mushrooms, but that is 6 scale for the society problem because When you are eating mushrooms, the trouffles, you make noise.
Alcohol is the first, heroin and cocaine, and then you have methadone,
Cocaine, tobacco, and these things I don’t know antidepressant stuff
(It kind of makes sense, I think that list makes sense)
Lsd, and this one no personal harm
(Really I would have though,LSD you’d get a bad trip and…)
Mental
This is to show this is working, and this is why these are legal here and while in all over Europe they are not legal and the alcohol which is the worst is legal everywhere.
Its actually Bullshit from my point of view. If the countries just put some more alcohol education, because alcohol is wonderful like any kind of substance it is done in a certain way and the right way it’s a great thing. But if you abuse it then have lots of problems and actually there are lots of deaths for alcohol, not a single death for weed, not directly related. There are Some accidents, car accidents and this kind of stuff, some people, for example, fall into the canal, people here during the winter they got stoned they fall asleep, freeze to death. And these are related, but not directly related, and this is why its free, and that’s all………..
(Can I ask is there any negatives. Anybody rallying against this in Holland, in the Netherlands, is there any groups that are against all this…..?)
Yes because there are always people that wont like the fact that you have the freedom to do whatever you want. But they are shot down by the results because believe me when they started to apply this policy and did a social study on it. Because its not enough that you divide the market, you have to take care of the people that will anyway will do hard drugs no matter what because they will do it anyway. You can put them in jail and they are going to get the drugs in the jail. You can make them fine and they are going to steal, and besides that with all this kind of stuff there is more crime
(But what about the Local residents?)
The local residents in the area are mostly tourists, not tourists, mostly expats
For the locals actually they have no problem, and besides Amsterdam is one city
The Netherlands is totally different, they are in the south more open, in the north, closed, and very racist, and in fact there is no coffeeshop in every city. Because If the major doesn’t want it, the people doesn’t want it, no coffee shop in the cit.y
But the majority of the Dutch doesn’t give a shit about weed because they are so used (to it)
Everyone smoking, drunk and having a party, and this is strange but it works
In fact, there are for example, In the bars where they sell alcohol there are about 1000 calls a of the police a month, we are about 2 calls a month in the coffeeshops because anyway cannabis can is a drug that makes you more relaxed while alcohol makes you urgh!
Talking about governments, UK and the United States are against and criticising this kind of policy a lot
But here in Europe they are starting to be a change of thinking I mean they are starting to get used to the idea that weed and hashish are not so dangerous as they can think.
That they really are the First steps to the hard drugs If you don’t separate the market
In the US, Colorado, Florida and California and Washington now they can sell weed. Colorado made in one month of Selling weed as many taxes as doing taxes in the city for commercial premises. One month AND they went to the school,I mean just think about that!
The market. The legal market there are some kind of substances that are not harmful so its stupid that they are illegal but not from a point of view from an objective point of view, because if you make the alcohol legal that is very dangerous, you make….Why the weed that is not so dangerous
The Tour
(How long have you been doing this tour?)
This now 6 months, and im doing research for 3 months because now we are expanding.
And they give me some materials and I started to expand it and in fact even now its still a growing creature. We are asking for permission from the police and the government In order to have access to more information and to some person, for example we would like to make an interview and make it on paper in order to make it available to our tours, for the drug users Injection room people for example or somebody from the ayahuasca, but in order to do that we need some permission because actually as we really want to do the stuff in the correct way
We have a private tour that as you can see you can ask everything and we can make a different and we have on Friday a fixed tour that is free on a tip basis
We have a group that is just more casual we talk about the coffee shop
A group that is just drinkers, we talk about the absinthes, the hangover information and so on
Actually I can tell you I am very proud of this small creature that is growing
We are telling people how is the real stuff here
(The reality)
Because believe me there are lots of myths about this city, and some are true!
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Full article here
You are looking at the mirror and you dont like what you see? You need to lose the beer belly. Cut down on the food? But I love my steaks! Now you could give up beer, but that would be foolish. Why not try to join a gym? Nah, too expensive and full of posers. Play some five a side? Yes, but I dont want to completely kill myself, and I dont have the silky skills I once had which is so demoralizing. So there is nothing for it but to try a bit of jogging/running.
Doesn’t cost much to go running, a pair of old trainers and some shorts and that ACDC t shirt, if it still fits, and voila you are a mean running machine! You can also go running pretty much anywhere, within reason, and within your own set time. Also not only is running excellent for your health, it can also be quite meditative. Many a time after a hard day and feeling down that a good hard run has lifted the spirits. I run through a forested area at night, so I guess I am down and at one with nature, and all the teens smoking dope, it feels real good when its finished. A real high, a legal one.
Running Gear
Get yourself a comfortable pair of runners/trainers. Now I got an expensive pair and a cheap pair, and actually the cheap pair works best for me. It’s not flashy or has padded insoles but I feel comfortable in them and that’s what is important. Remember you will be pounding on these trainers day in day out hour after hour, so you really need a good pair, so no fucking around on the running shoes. But the experts will tell you this and that, but just go with what you feel is good for you……..
Warm-Up!
Now I Know for lazy feckers, you perhaps might skip this, shure isn’t the race/run enough itself, but really a warm up works wonders for loosening the muscles pre run. A little stretch here and there and a warm jog just to make sure your muscles wont snap when you start, and that you have pre heated the engine.
Music/breathing!
I would definitely recommend not using music to help you go for a run. Yes its cool to listen to your fav bands as you do your job but you are not listening to your breathing, which will help you with your pace and technique and helps you to find your breathing rhythm, which over time can help you with pacing yourself and also in relaxation.
Breathing is important, and that’s why you have to listen to it. Breathing too much, spluttering and catching the breaths, then slow it down, relax, try to slow it down a little, and you would be surprised at the results. over time you can learn to handle it. Listening to your body is the only thing you should be hearing!
Water!
Drink lots of the the stuff! It helps you to re-hydrate! Drink water before, during (if you can) and after all runs. Try running dehydrated, its hard!
But its not just water, it is also good to drink isotonic sports and energy drinks…….like Lucozade or Gatorade for example. They have all the ingredients needed to give you that extra kick and help replenish any important minerals you might have lost.
Running styles
Try to lead forward with your chest and keep the upper body straight, which will ease the tension on your shoulders and neck and help you feel a little relaxed when running. Also try to pump up your arms forward and back, it usually works for me and helps to get me into some sort of rhythm.
On thing I like to do at times when I run is to set targets on the course, or time targets, and try my damnest to make them. if I am slow then I press ahead as fast as I can, and that can mean sometimes sprinting like mad to make the next target. This fast, slow, fast running is good for getting you slowly used to quick paces. The more you do the more you can increase the targets, the more you get used to running at a faster pace at a longer time. Also it breaks up the sometime monotony of running, which lets face it can get boring after a while.
As you get older I find it takes a good while for the body to warm up as you set out on your run. I am like an old car that starts its journey, spluttering and creaking, but what I find funny is that after about 5 or 6 minutes the body suddenly goes into autopilot and then I am completely fine. I can run for an hour after that without too much complication, as long as it is a steady pace. But apparently there is some science to this, as it takes six to 10 minutes and one degree in body temperature to push all the blood to the working muscles. Once that happens you will experience a light warm sweat and then the pace sets itself to autopilot. So the thing is wait at least ten minutes before you decide to think “fuck this shit, I’m off to the pub!”, keep with it and low and behold you will get that steady run you set out to achieve from the beginning.
Also worth to note and kind of obvious, but dont go like the clappers at the start. Go slow, pace yourself, be relaxed, note your distance, and try to enjoy the race if you can.
The fast finish!
Don’t go mad at the start, or perhaps the middle, but always keep something in the tank for the end. This takes practice over time. on any run you do, try and leave something in the legs just to finish the last few stretches fast. Try running quickly over the last 5 minutes flat out of you can, to build up your technique. Pushing yourself like this will show what you can and cant do on a finishing strait, and you might be surprised that runners generally always have something left, even if they aware not aware of it.
Track and record your running
I use Noom Coach to keep abreast of my daily calorie count, and it also records any running you do, which frees of some space for more food! Freeletics is good too, for tracking some exercise and also for runs, and it is great for breaking down your run in terms of speed, pace and average times. Of course they are many more specific apps, more particular for actual running, like RunKeeper or MapMyRun. Its good to keep track of your progress,or lack of it.
I might have been still a little drunk when I started the race, but trust me I was all sober when I finished!
So as Basel had won the championship the night before I went out to celebrate. And celebrate I did, 6 beers and two shots later I think I got home around 3 or 4.
Amazingly I managed to get up early for the train to Zug, which was leaving at about 6.30…….so safe to say I was in not the best state of mind for a mountain run. I was simply dying on the train, sweating buckets and so, so tired…..and the head……oh dear.
So what does a hangover do to your body and what affects would it have on your morning run/jog or in my case slow walk and crawl (up that “Cunt of a mountain!”).
Well for a start you will be severely dehydrated, have low blood sugar and low energy levels……your performance will be affected that’s for sure, the alcohol, that is more than likely still in your system, will slow you down big time. But there is no need to kill yourself, the fact you are running so soon after a great night out is an accomplishment enough, no need to try and break any records or get a high placing. I walked 4 out of the 6K, ran the first and last 1k, happy in the knowledge that I was the fastest drunk on the course, for sure!
So what can you do to limit the pain……well as I have mentioned a few times already…..drink lots of water, try to drink a bucket load of water as soon as you get up…..or even before you go to bed, (but that’s not going to happen, eh!). Remember it takes a lot of water to purge all that lovely alcohol you had the night before.
Also try and get some grub inside you, might hold some of the beer together that’s sloshing round your stomach. Normally an Irish/British style breakfast would do just the business in a situation like this, but remember you also have to shit that out…….so something small but useful…..an omelette is good as eggs are excellent for refueling. Also a smoothie with some bananas should be efficient enough.
I mentioned shitting, disgusting I know, but it has to be done before the race no matter what, because believe me you dont want to be half way round the course holding your arse cheeks together, lol.
Are there any positives about running with a hangover? Yes there are…..for one it should sweat out all the beer you had the night before…..It also has the effect that by the end of the run or race you should have completely sobered up, or at least feel less shitty. The endorphins and the fresh healthy air, and the sense of accomplishment makes you feel like a champ. To celebrate I’d recommend having a few beers to let it all sink in, but perhaps not repeat it again the next morning so soon!
But be aware doing too much of this can be very harmful to your health. As alcohol is a strong diuretic, depleting your water volume, it means that your heart has to beat faster and harder to get the blood pumping round your body. Anything that puts a serious strain on your heart is best avoided to be honest.
But what about running while actually drunk, never mind about the sleeping bit or the inbetween bit, but just drink up and run? Running while pished as a fart. Is it possible to do?
I have often done it myself while going home. The trams are stopped at about 3 or 4, and any extra change I have had after the night of boozing went on the kebab and not on a taxi, so its a long walk, but fuck that….I have often just did a jog with some short sprints here and there to make that long walk a little shorter.
Of course it does depend on how drunk you are. If you are pretty legless I dont think running will be good for you, as you might just run straight into a ditch or a road sign and end up doing some damage to yourself and your ego.
I also have to mention that there are a few races where drinking is acceptable. We have the hash runs that are popular in cities around the world, and where the running is not competitive and drinking is encouraged after the event, or at times during the run!
There is also the Beer Mile, where each competitor drinks four cans of beer (minimum 5%) and runs four laps on a track. Yeah, 4 beers, fuck off. Could you be bothered for fucks sake. More like ten beers a few shots of the spirit of your choice, and a kebab and then a mountain run, now that is a fucking race. Amateurs!!
Of course I prefer the more traditional beer crawl, where competitors run, walk, or crawl from pub to pub. I am pretty good at this one and it requires no running gear, race times, or training per say!
Zug, in the canton of Zug, central Switzerland, is a very beautiful town with its amazing views of the lake, lake Zug that is!
The town is quite wealthy with its population of about 30,000 people enjoying its nice low tax policy and the offer of plenty of work in the towns many multi national high end industries.
It has a very lovely old town, and the view of the lake and the nearby mountain ranges on the promenade is pretty cool. All in all its a bloody nice town.
This is all fine, as long as we dont mention that massacre that happened back in 2001, where some nutjob shot and killed 15 people including himself in the cantonal parliament of Zug. And they say the Swiss are responsible with their guns……
Getting to the city is easy enough, its near Zurich via both rail network and motorway, about 30 minutes journey for both.
So in any case, I was there for the race, the The Zugerberg Classic, a race that takes place every year, usually sometime at the start of May, for runners and mountain bikers from the old city of Zug right upto the top of a small mountain! The running distance is six kilometers (6.2 km to be exact) with a height difference of 540 m and the mountain biker for a distance of 25 km with an altitude of 1000 m. The race is open to clubs, children and teenagers, men and women, right up to old folks who are on their last legs.
For more information, see zugerberg-classic.ch
So to the actual race then.
Well there are two races to report. The one where I had the hangover, as mentioned, and where I came near the end……..
And the race the year after, where I didn’t have a hangover, albeit was tired after a Gaelic football blitz the day before, but ran in a much quicker fashion, that it to say there were enough people behind me to save embarrassment.
As I mentioned I had a lot to drink the night before (6 beers, two shots), only a few hours sleep and was sweating buckets and dehydrated. But I didn’t want to disappoint a friend who was waiting for me at the station, as we were doing the race together. he wasn’t out the night before though.
Didn’t know what to expect really, as it was my first race in years and with the hangover my mind wasn’t straight. But start we did, near the end mind, and after about 500 metres I was beginning to notice that this seems to be a bit hilly!!! Told my running mate to go and run his own race as I didn’t want to drag him down to my level, and off he went in the distance. There was no let up in the height, up and up it went, so after the first 1K decided to speed walk it, thinking I could run any flat bits in between. Thing was there were no flats bits not until the last 1K, so I basically walked most of it. Children past me by, old people with walking sticks smiling and waving out walking me, one guy with a plastic leg fucking passed me, then a Japanese lady who had a trainer caught me……..Jesus I looked around and there was only me and this old fella with his shorts pulled right up his arse, fuck……but I beat him in the last straight, but it was close! I wasn’t going to come last. I later found out that there were a few Indians (not the native kind), about 5 or 6 who also walked it and were even slower than me…….jesus, they must have had a dodgy curry the night before! Anyway I did it and it took me a while to recover from it. My time was a very unimpressive 56.10 (5 people behind me!)
On Sunday May the 7th Sunday, 2017, I had paid my CHF 25.- entry fee online, registered and got my starting number good and early, I was on a mission to beat my previous time. Got there early enough, unlike the previous year. Registered early for the 9.20 start time.
This time I did a warm up, a good warm up and I have to say it made a good difference as it got the air pumping into my lungs and around the body, so much so that the start of the race wasn’t as frightful as the previous year.
Also I had the advantage of actually knowing the course, or at least having an idea of how painful it was, so I knew there was a killer in the middle and that near the end there was a few high hills to get over, but also that the last 1K was flattish and down, or at least not up! Funnily enough I wasn’t as fast as I expected on the last 1k, I had really nothing to give, everything was gone in the engine.
I tell you how high we were up in that all entrants have a free pass on the mountain funicular (cable railway) train back down to the edge of the town, which is great cause I didn’t fancy walking back down.
After the race all the competitors and organizers get together in the big hall to wind down, eat some food freshly cooked on the BBQ, have a chat, and relax.
So I hung around eagerly awaiting the results, very curious to know how much I had knocked off my previous time. I came in at 49.31, bettering my PB by about 6 and a half minutes which was ok I guess, and this time a good amount of slow bastards behind me, about 24. Suckers!!!
I have to say all in all the race is a well organised event, and I will be back again in 2018 to further eat away at my PB! If you want to see how fit and healthy you are then there is no doubt this is the race to do! Definitely! Roll on Zugerberg Death Run 2018
Race three: UPDATE 2018 RESULT!
Did the Zugerberg Run again, third time out. Unfortunately, as before, I didn’t get a good nights sleep as I went to see some friends play (Uncle Bard & The Dirty Bastards and Keltikon) in a Celtic Punk Concert the night before and didn’t get home till 1:30 after drinking about 7 pints. Concert was good fun and good to see some old friends again.
Nevertheless I got up early and travelled to Zug, there good and early. Had many toilet breaks as I had drank some Guinness the night before!
Ran and it felt terrible, much worse than last year. Didn’t feel comfortable throughout the race, and walked quite a good bit of the course. So was really surprised then to know that my time was 45.46, a good 3 minutes 45 minutes quicker than my previous years run, so yes a new PB! And this time there were 44 people behind me!
So what I can take from this is that despite an awful run I am getting quicker and fitter. And who knows what I could run in the Zugerberg run if I ever get the fucking chance to have a good rest the day and night before!!!
I have had many a morning where you wake up with no recollection of what the heck you did the night before. How you got home, who you insulted, why are there bruises on your arms, and why are your friends and family pissed off with you…….again. What exactly did I do! But you can’t remember, you will never remember. Of course your friends will remember………when you meet them again and all the stories come a flooding, with great embarrassment.
Yes, the old black out, I have had a few down through the years. From ruining parties, to getting into fights, to waking up in an unusual places, to having interesting conversations with people I can never remember, or what was talked. Anything can happen when I’m blacked out. The lights are on, but no one is at home!
The next morning, you then play the part of detective. Winding back time, trying to figure out where you were and who you were with. First stop is usually to check the wallet, and see if I have spent all my money or do I have anything at all left. Usually I blow all my money. Do I have my mobile? I have lost a few. Are my clothes dirty? Indicating I was rolling around the ground as per usual! Funny thing is, no matter how wasted I am, and no matter where I am, I always manage to find my way back home, to my bed. I always make it back in the end!
So what is a black out then?
A blackout is caused by the intake of any alcohol or drug in which short term and long term memory creation is weakened, therefore causing a complete inability to recall the past. It is a period of amnesia where you can’t recall what the hell you did while you were on the beer all night
In fact, it’s not really that you can’t remember it’s that the night wasn’t processed as a memory in the first place. The memories were not even created, so no matter how hard you try you will NEVER remember! A gap of time is missing, like you were transported to another planet yet you can’t remember anything…it is time travel for drunks…….
Who gets blackouts?
People who drink. People who drink large quantities of alcohol. But more importantly people who drink large quantities of alcohol in a short space of time, and college students!
Basically people who “binge drink”, which the last time I looked was defined as 4 or more standard drinks for women and 5 or more standard drinks for men, within a time period of two hours. A quiet night for myself, but there you go!
We are not just talking about alcoholics or heavy drinkers here, it can also happen to social drinkers, people who like a few drinks with the mates at the end of a tough week at work. It is important to note not everyone gets blackouts, about 50% of drinkers do, and there are also many alcoholics who claim to have never experienced blackouts. Remember, it is not how much you drink, but how fast you drink, and how quickly the blood alcohol content rises.
It also affects women more, and no I am not sexist! They have smaller bodies that have less enzymes that break down the alcohol. Women are also more likely to drink beverages with higher alcohol concentrations, like wine and mixed drinks rather than beer. You know, all those bloody martinis and fruit flavoured vodkas.
How does it work then?
A blackout is a loss of memory caused by excessive alcohol intake or drug use over a very short period of time. These substances sometimes blocks short-term memory from forming in the brain and thus the ability of the brain to form long-term memories.
It increases the drinker’s blood alcohol content (BAC) which shuts down the hippocampus region of the brain, the region critical in the formation of memories.
The loss of memory can be “fragmentary” or “en bloc”. Fragmentary blackouts cause the drinker to not recall moments for small periods of time, whereas en bloc refers to over larger periods.
Fragmentary blackouts, the more common of the two, are sometimes referred to as “brownouts”, where people can typically recall bits and pieces of forgotten events once they’re reminded of them. For example, you might not remember it in the moment, but when a friend reminds you that yes you did try and hit on that girl, then you remember. Filling in “the gaps” so to speak.
People experiencing en bloc blackouts are unable to recall any details at all, not a zilch, nothing, from events that occurred while they were intoxicated, despite all efforts by the drinkers or friends to rejig the memory. It is as if the process of transferring information from short–term to long–term storage has been completely road blocked.
Interestingly, people appear able to keep information active in short–term memory for at least a few seconds. As a result, they can appear functional, can hold a conversation, and at least appear that bit “normal”. But the key is that the information regarding these events is simply not transferred into long–term storage. If a person experiencing a blackout is asked what happened to them just 10 minutes ago, they will have no idea. That’s the first sign. That’s why you tend to hear drunks repeating the same thing again, and again, and again, ad infinitum. They also probably have a glazed over look, but then that’s alcohol for you!
The brain can capture information in short-term memory while intoxicated, but not hold it, and as for long term memories, forget it. It’s not just your memory that is impaired, but your overall judgment, decision-making, and control over your emotions which could lead an individual to make potentially hazardous and very unpredictable choices during blackouts. And that’s when the fun begins… sex or groping, drink-driving, vandalism, fighting, buying unwanted shite over the net, sending badly worded and timed emails, and other irresponsible and dangerous activities, i.e. questionable behaviour that you’d likely regret if you could remember.
How not to get blackouts!
Don’t drink! But seriously, most blackouts are caused by the rapid consumption of a large amount of alcohol in a short period of time, so if you can pace yourself that will lower the chances of having a blackout.
Doing shots or downing beer gets the alcohol into your bloodstream quickly, so relax, you have all night. Remember it’s not how much you drink, but how fast that you drink…
Mixing drinks also might not be a good idea, and not just alcohol, adding some recreational drugs is also a one stop route to memory loss.
Food. Drinking on an empty stomach will cause your blood alcohol level to rise quickly. Have some food to line your stomach and slow down the blood alcohol content rising
If you are worried, have a glass of water, it slows down the blood alcohol content. Ok, you might look like a wally, but you also might be the last man standing….
It might also not be a good idea to go out if you are tired. Tiredness and exhaustion means you are halfway to conking out…..
Furthermore, if you often have blackouts, you might want to lay off the sauce for a while, as weirdly studies have shown that there is a tendency for people to revert back to blackout states once they start experiencing them. Some users of alcohol, particularly those with a history of blackouts, are predisposed to experiencing blackouts more frequently than others. So if you have had this type of amnesia in the past then you are more likely to have it happen again in the future.
Should I be worried?
This amnesia caused by alcohol and other substances can lead to all sorts of problems and unhappy feelings. You may feel troubled because you can’t recall your actions the night before. Humiliation or embarrassment can happen or distress if something more serious happened. Paranoia can set in if you are finding it difficult to get all the clues. What I usually did was stay in bed all day, avoid all human contact, and hopefully any trouble would blow over by Monday, and by then you will be refreshed!
Questions might arise. Why do I go mad and do stupid stuff when I am drunk, as when I’m sober I’m not such a bad person? Are these actions really part of my inner character that I have unleashed over a few shots, am I really such a cunt? I do know people say that when you are drunk that’s when your true character comes out. I disagree, I don’t think it’s as simple as that. I think it’s more that you are just out of your mind and your judgment is altered. It also might be something that’s lurking in everyone rather than just one person, our animal instincts……
So should you worry about blackouts then? If you tend to get them regularly then yes, probably you might need to change your drinking habits, slow the fuck down, eat some food between beers, relax…….
Otherwise, they can happen now and again if you are a social drinker, downing shots with the gang, etc. on a special occasions. It’s better to be with friends who can always at least guide you on the right path…..I guess!
But I suppose the best thing is, if you really can’t remember then what’s the problem. As long as you haven’t killed anyone or done something criminally insane then brush it aside, as they say ignorance is bliss.
The 3,000-mile drunken jaunt
I will leave you with a fun story that was featured on the BBC a few years ago about an English man called Jeremy Clay who, in 1878, drank himself all the way from London town to Ohio in the good old US of A, without even noticing.
Waking up at a hospital, nursing the mother and father of all hangovers, he was worried. He had no clue to where he was. A nurse gave him the answer, “Cleveland, Ohio”!
The story began seven weeks earlier when in the accompaniment of some friends, the teetotaller tried a few whiskeys. And as you know, one drink led to another and before you know it he was on a boat to America.
The Dubliners had a song “Seven Drunken Nights”, but this was more like seven drunken weeks and 3,000 miles across the ocean.
So intoxicated was he, that he ended up in hospital where he had to detox for three weeks.
The story emerged much later. He was put on the boat by his mischievous friends with a ticket to Cleveland. The lesson to be learned is, be careful what you drink never trust your friends
Sources:
“What Happened? Alcohol, Memory Blackouts, and the Brain”, By Aaron M. White, Ph.D.
Aaron M. White, Ph.D., is an assistant research professor in the Department of Psychiatry, Duke University Medical Center, Durham, North Carolina. July 2004
“Victorian strangeness: The 3,000-mile drunken escapade”, By Magazine Monitor. A collection of cultural artifacts April 2014 Top of Form
So we were on our travels once more, and this time to see the Italian Celtic punk/rock band UNCLE BARD & THE DIRTY BASTARDS playing in the small town of Lenzburg (pop of 8,000+) in the canton of Aargau, central Switzerland. This town has a history with recorded settlements here dating back 4300 – 3500 BC, including a small Roman settlement, and today you can see a stunning castle towering over the town which has been around since the 11th century. So yeah a lot of history!
Uncle Bard & The Dirty Bastards are an Italian band hailing from the North of Italy. Their love of Irish music was inspired not from growing up listening to the Pogues or the Dubliners as per normal for a Celtic band, but from the fact that they spent a lot of time living, working, and visiting the Emerald Isle. At that time Ireland was no longer the sick man of Western Europe, there was some kind of Celtic Tiger going on, the economy was booming, there were jobs a plenty, and many flocked to the country in search of opportunity, some money and a bit of craic along the way. Quite a lot of Italians dropped anchor in Ireland at that time.
Coming and going, visiting friends, hanging around, listening to Irish music in the bars, having the good times, learning about the culture and the ways of the people. Well we all know the charms of Irish music, and it was this that the lads fell in love with. So of course in 2007, they then started to set up their own band, at first a bit of fun, no expectations, no big plans, a few songs here and there….and with the grace of god……and all that. But the funny thing was people actually liked what they were doing. It was working. These Italians had mastered good old Celtic folk punk, and the feedback was positive. In a few years they had played all over, from decent sized rock venues, loads of Celtic and punk festivals, pubs, clubs…everywhere, and sharing the stage with the kings of Celtic punk, Dropkick Murphy’s, trad legends De Danann, amongst a lengthy list of other bands along the way. But one thing was constant, people clearly liked their brand of Italian Celtic punk.
In 2009 they released their first album ‘Drinking Not Thinking’ and in 2012 they set out for a very adventurous busking tour through Ireland, Wales and England. Meeting and playing with musicians on the streets or in the local pubs. This added a lot to their style and development. In 2013 they were joined by Luca Crespi, a renowned Irish folk musician and player of the Uilleann Pipes, tin whistle, and Irish flute, further enhancing the bands progress. This step forward resulted in their first full-length album “Get The Folk Out!”(2014).
Guido Domingo: vocals, acoustic guitars
Lorenzo Testa: tenor banjo, mandolin, vocals, spoons
Luca Crespi: tin whistle, Irish flute, uilleann pipes
Rob ‘Uncle Bard’ Orlando: bass guitar and lamentating vocals
Silvano Ancellotti: electric and acoustic guitar, lamenting vocals
Luca Terlizzi: drums, bodhran
Baronessa
Wisa-Gloria-terrain Sägestrasse 44
5600 Lenzburg
http://www.baronessalenzburg.ch/
The gig was to be in the Baronessa, a “Culture bar” (whatever the fuck that is?), a music venue that has been going strong for the last 20 years or so…. The bar located within an old factory, is run by a large group of volunteers (230+ members) and is funded entirely by membership fees, the proceeds from the bar service and other events that the venue organises. The venue hosts a wide range of events but particularly focuses on live music.
The staff and manager were very friendly, chatty and great fun all through the night. Small venue packed to the rafters, a good crowd on the night, a well set up stage, and fun all around. Hopefully I can get back for another gig here in the not so long distance future.
The concert was pretty good I have to say. Actually it was more than pretty good, it was great infact! Foot thumping throughout, got the whole place rocking, great interaction with the crowd, all the guys brilliant.
Luca Crespi brings a lot to the band, his tin whistle solos were really soul stirring stuff, but it wasn’t just Luca the whole band played expertly, all working great as a band, really complementing each other’s skills.
Guido can carry an Irish Celtic punk accent pretty well, you would never guess he was from Italy!
Uncle Bard & The Dirty Bastards definitely look like they could shake up the European Celtic punk/rock/folk circuit. This band are quickly making a name for themselves, watch this space!
Interview
With Paolo (manager) and Lorenzo (banjo)
So Uncle bard and the Bastards explain the name
Paolo Well the very evening when the band started out they just played one short gig, it was with our friend Roberto the bard, Robert the bard
Real Irish name!
Paolo And at first they didn’t know how to call themselves and they just made this name up, I mean, the dirty bastards but it was meant to be just one short gig
Actually the gig went very well, and they decided to go on and they kept the name actually
And where was the first gig, somewhere in Ireland?
Paolo No, in Italy
Lorenzo Close to where we live, close to Milan
But you all met in Dublin and brought it back, did you?
Lorenzo The bass player in Dublin spent a lot of time in Ireland (Rob ‘Uncle Bard’ Orlando)
Paolo But they met in Italy
Lorenzo But we were friends before
The first gig, so you said it went well?
Paolo They enjoyed themselves and they decided to go on because it was worth it,
Did you play Irish traditional songs or was it more you own kind of stuff or was it just let’s see what we can do. See how it works so
Lorenzo It was traditional songs. Some Flogging molly, some Dropkick Murphy’s, some Dubliners stuff
I mean there are a few bands that do Celtic music in Italy, isn’t there?
Lorenzo Nowadays…yes
Paolo We like drawing a line between the bands that play Irish music because they love Irish music and they also love Ireland, and the bands that play Irish music just because its fashion
Lorenzo yeah, it’s a sort of fashion nowadays in Italy
Paolo Celtic stuff
Lorenzo but there are really good bands, good bands but it was different when we started no one playing Irish music expect for traditional Irish music
It was hard to find venues to play in…
So how did you build up your fan base, was just word of mouth, or it was something new?
Lorenzo It was something new and we are playing every weekend so people learn the songs….
Got used to you! I know this song, I know this song!
Lorenzo Yeah!
What’s your favourite song, of the guys? (to the manager)
Paolo The guys, I think its….
He is trying to remember a song now, look!
He is playing for time now….
Lorenzo do you want to check the check list
Paolo “I did not belong to this world”, I have to admit that’s my favourite song
Lorenzo Only because I am the song writer!
A request tonight, yeah!
So Paolo what about 2016 for the band, what are you hoping for?
2016?
Paolo 2016, ok it is going to be a great year for the Bastards, as we have a lot of requests at the moment and
People are really happy with them, I don’t why because you can see Silvano here, you can look at him
Baby face
Paolo He doesn’t deserve it the bastard (tag) especially, ha ha
We are doing well
They are doing well and
So we are full of requests from all over the world
From all over Europe
And we are hoping to go to Ireland, to play in Ireland
National stadium in Dublin
We have very good reports from places where they have played
In August they have played in the Netherlands in front of 10,000 people
We got a large number of messages on Facebook, Facebook messages just to congratulate us
And actually so things are getting better and better
So what’s your part in the band anyway? (to Lorenzo)
Lorenzo I play the banjo, the banjo and the mandolin
But tonight I will only play the banjo
So what can we expect from the band tonight, what kind of music are you going to play,
How would you describe your sounds?
Paolo Crap!
Lorenzo Bullshit, ha
Very good manager, here, very good manager!
Lorenzo We are going to play sounds of our album, a few traditional ones, Irish traditional, but even a couple of songs written by English song writers
I have a question like, what is the Italian part of your band, I mean there must have some kind of Italian kick to the band, there must be something that you can bring from Italy to a Celtic punk band?
Lorenzo H’mmm. I really don’t know! Except the looks maybe
Yeah ok you are good looking guys
Don’t look like Shane MacGowan or anything that’s for sure
Lorenzo I really don’t know
When you are up playing the banjo, do you instantly click into an Irish or is it just….
Lorenzo Yeah because banjo is not a musical instrument that we play in Italy, so the only way to play it is in an Irish way or a bluegrass way
And I learnt to play the banjo in Ireland
Is this when you were Busking around Dublin, and….how did that go for you busking around England and Ireland and Wales…?
Lorenzo It was a great experience
Was it a bit daunting at the start, was it a bit nervous?
Lorenzo Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was really a great experience
Do you have any crazy stories from your time busking on the streets
Grafton street, must have been difficult, because there are so many people that be playing on Grafton street
Lorenzo Yeah but there are rules between the buskers, and you just have to keep distance and then at the end of the day you are playing with other musicians. It’s really great because there is friendship between musicians. And we started playing with three guys and then we ended up in 20 maybe, with a Russian guy playing guitar and a few Irish musicians
It was really, really beautiful
Ok, and did you play in Galway as well? Galway is always pretty good for busking, isn’t it?
Lorenzo It is. It is. And the level of the musicians are really high
So what about 2016 then, what are your plans, what are your hopes?
Lorenzo We are writing the songs for the new album
We will do a summer tour
Will that include any gigs in London or Ireland?
Lorenzo Maybe London we are talking about it, don’t know yet when and where?
What does the manager say?
Paolo with a couple of venues, but for the moment it is really hard to get there but we are in talks with them, we are trying to get there
Lorenzo I don’t know if we are going to play in Ireland because
Italians play Irish music in Ireland
Paolo It sounds strange!
But I think Irish people like to see their culture appreciated and they like to see, you know, it’s cool for us to see that we are not just crazy Irish people playing this music, someone else appreciates it, you know
Lorenzo I hope so!
So what got you into the scene anyway, I mean how did you start? How did you get into this music?
Lorenzo Well every one of us has a different story about it
I stared playing the banjo
I started visiting, living for a few months in Ireland
And then I started learning Irish music.
What made you pick up the Banjo, why particularly the banjo?
Lorenzo Because I used to play the guitar, so I try
It was fun, so
What’s your kind of favourite song on the banjo, what’s your favourite tune?
Lorenzo My favourite tune
I prefer to play jigs more than reels
Whereas ballads probably Raglan Road or the Town I love So Well, we will play tonight.
The Town I love so Well is one of my favourite songs ever
We will be looking at you tonight then!
You played with the Dropkick Murphy’s, what was that like?
Lorenzo Twice, a really great experience
Did you get to meet them, hang out with them?
Lorenzo Yeah, yeah, Kenny is one of the best and better musicians I have ever met, really, we were sound checking, and he went on stage, stopped just to shake hands to every one of us, thanking us for been there, was incredible
So where abouts was it again, England or Ireland, no it was Italy where you played with the Dropkick Murphy’s?
Lorenzo Turin and Milan, it was a sold out show so
Did you learn anything from looking at the….., I don’t know, looking at the stars of Celtic (rock) music at the moment or whatever?
Lorenzo Really nice guys, they are really professional
REVIEW – UNCLE BARD & THE DIRTY BASTARDS “Get the Folk Out!” (2014)
First thing to note is that the album comes in a very nice 16 page digipak which includes the lyrics to all the songs with some interesting notes about the stories behind each number, mugshots of all the band members, and some excellent shots of the guys working out on the farm!
At just under an hour, there is plenty crammed into this album of fifteen tunes, an album packed with a lot of their own material, and not just the usual trad tunes. Lorenzo is the band’s main songwriter but most of the group have written a song or two.
The songs always include an Irish traditional tune or jig, and the lyrics to their songs are intimate and about their experiences that the band members have lived through.
We start off with The Road, an autobiographical song about their time busking around Ireland.
Some smashing lyrics “Been out there is where I have found an offbeat happiness/in the smile of a child or in a wise man’s clap” the appreciation from the Irish to what they were doing, “from country Clare to Sligo bay we played almost everywhere with singers, pipers, fiddlers we met along the way”, a touching heart felt indebtedness of their time in Ireland.
The song starts off slow enough, but builds up to where the whole band can be heard, with Luca making good use of the bodhran. A good way to introduce the band, and their story.
The Green Shamrock Shore is another tune about their time in Ireland, a lament about Rob and his bad luck with the Irish economy which was starting to unravel, and his lack of job opportunities. “for the following months I walked night and day………..I searched almost everywhere but the answer was a NAY”
But it isn’t all about their time in Ireland, We ruled the seaside is a song by Silvano about his time growing up in a seaside town, “we ruled the seaside, and we had nothing to lose, riding high we ruled this town” reminiscing how life changes….. Can hear all the band on this track………….full compliments.
On the meaning of life in the song The Dark Side of the Leaf ……. Guido questions how nature can supersede religion and god, “if you could find the rhythm between the spruces and the pines you’d discover a sound of fiddles makes us all divine”. An Interesting, soulful number that shows the full range of Guido’s talents.
Off in the Jacks and the last song of the album Be also ask questions about the meaning of life, and the disconnect some have with our surroundings. Off in the Jacks focuses on the dangers of the social network, “Ring-diddle-daddle-oh, Ring-diddle-daddle-oh, When did we unlearn to listen. When did we unlearn to talk? I guess the time it happened I was off in the jacks”, while Be begins with just vocals and mandolin before the band kick in and fill the air with the swirling sound of brilliantly played slow tempo Irish folk. A positive song on what the essence of life really is.
Of course as we here know full too well. Usually the answer to that is a pint of beer. And of course as with any Celtic folk punk album we have a few songs about that best of all topics, drink!
The Rambling Bhoys a nice old fashioned ballad that builds, about surviving with or without shitty jobs…..making decisions in life… but can always have a pint and good company in a pub “the craic, the drink, the leisure and I forget the troubles with a pint of plain in the hand”. A good nice jig near the end, perhaps emphasising that in the end life is good………..”We are rambling boys of pleasures, drinking without measure, and we take delight in good company”
I Only Got One Pint, a catchy number that has a comparable sound to the Chicago band, the Tossers. A good old drinking song, no Irish Celtic album could be without one, “now we know the meaning of life, and we buy another pint” a chant that echo’s out in the end.
Other foot thumping songs are Black Sheep, probably my favourite song in the album, Skedaddle and Raggle Taggle Gypsy. These songs would be up there with the best of any Celtic punk that you are likely to hear, and the type of songs that get people on the dance floor, pints a flying, damn good fight music! Skeaddle reminds me of the Pogues number Streams of Whiskey, with the same intensity and craftsmanship. Raggle Taggle Gypsy is a traditional number that the band have developed to suit the bans high tempo style.
Other covers they have done is an old Tommy Sands number, When the Boys Come Rolling Home, a nice ballad, and the iconic The Ring Of Fire, made famous by a one Johnny Cash. The Ring of Fire version is excellent, a standout highlight for me, this Celtic folk/punk version of the song sounds fantastic.
Blue Velvet Glove is an instrumental showing the skills of Luca Crespi on the Uileann pipes. This is Davy Spillane eat your heart out material here. Excellent, another highlight for me in the album. It is soulful, and you can just imagine the waves from the Atlantic hitting the Cliff of Moher on a wet misty late Autumns evening, evocative and expertly played.
Another nice instrumental showcase is 1,21 Jig-O-Reel Set, a collection of traditional reels with some Chieftain influences going on.
Overall I really enjoyed this album, very easy to listen to it on repeat all day… a bit of celtic punk, a nod to traditional jigs and reels. I like the fact that they made a Celtic rock/folk album centred on their own experiences from Ireland.
Discography
Drinking Not Thinking – 2011
Up the Bastards! EP – 2013 
Get The Folk Out! – 2014
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